Resurrection Sunday 2014

In it for Life

  Yesterday morning the San Francisco Chronicle carried a sad story.
  Newspapers always carry sad stories.  This one, however, has many similarities to what could be me.
 The mom was about my age.  Her son, a delightful, communication-impaired young adult with autism, was about the age of my son..
  Actually, her son was 22.  He had attended the local autism center "until late last year," which tells me that mandated services (school) likely ended and he had since then been home full time.
  You might want to see the SFC's shocking story at this point.

  How did things come to this point?  i cannot begin to tell you, though i can see it clearly.  It's partly a matter of money, of course.  Who is going to pay for the day services to give mom the chance to be someone other than mom?  The folks at the center said they wished they had known things were so desparate, because they would have helped, but i wonder about that.  Yes, they would have meant well, but there's always this, and there's always that. . . .

  We have ultimately our own load to bear.  If we can communicate the need, if we can make arrangements, though, we might be able to ease the burden of it.

  Is Max a burden?  i hate to think that.  But in a real sense, he is not exactly like you'd expect a 21 year old to be.

   Yesterday we had a Whole Big Deal about what could have been a relatively simple solution to sharing two vehicles among three drivers, just becaue we didn't want to leave Max alone in the house for a half hour.  (The solution involved Grumpy Dad allowing  Heedless Mom to drive his Precious.  The things we do for our kids!)

  At this point, i can say no, Max is not a burden.  i want to never say he is, i want to never feel like the Sunnydale mom.
  But i can understand her clearly.
  And i weep for her,her husband, and her son, who was a happy, loving young man.

Not a Condolence Letter

A friend's child received a diagnosis of autism this week.
Naturally this is disturbing, but, for my friends and anyone else in this situation, i want to say, this is not the end of the world.
You still have the same kid, with whatever loveable and challenging traits he or she had before The Name descended upon you.
What you have now is special education law to protect you.  You will probably have access to more services, which you have known for some time the kid needs but were unavailable to your family.
There will be a lot more red tape and paperwork than for the siblings not so blessed.  Possibly the worst is when you hear people, who may or may not be referring to you and your family, talk about the government handouts & privileges you get for no good reason.
Well, no one said life is easy.  This is another stage in your adventure with your wonderFULL kid.  And there are others who know what it's like, though every special needs kid is different.
My own son with autism was diagnosed at 2 1/2 and will soon turn 21.