There is behaving responsibly. There is behaving with respect toward another.
You should always do both. My doing the 2nd does not require somebody else doing the 1st.
Last night, when i got the sports section to drain meatballs on for the spaghetti, i saw where a certain sports celebrity was apologizing for
a remark attributed to her, which she didn't think she had said, about a rape victim.
"She shouldn't have gotten herself in that position."
Sports Celebrity did not actually deny having said this, but said the sentiment didn't sound like her, she strongly disagrees with the sentiment, and apologized, so far as i could tell in the 3 seconds i had the paper, as if the words were her own anyway.
The SituationLet me begin by saying i know less about the original situation than about Sports Celebrity & her gaffe. Please do not enlighten me - i do know that a young woman was victimized in a horrible way, she may or may not have done something stupid beforehand, and she will have pain from it for a long time to come, if not always.
The point i wish to discuss, in a very general way, is, how relevant is her own role in her victimization?
The RealityIn a real world, it may have been very relevant.
People have their triggers, things that inspire or set them off. We need to be respectful of this BEFORE the event.
We need to be respectful of our own triggers, and avoid them as far as possible.
Rape is an act of bullying and disrepect that far exceeds any disrespect she may have exhibited in whatever she may have done.
Relevant or not to the event, her behavior, dress, actions are irrelevant to the consequences to a rapist.
Was she as responsible as she could have been?
Are any of us always that responsible?
The violence is the only issue here.
The only place failings of the attackee have in a discussion is as a warning for others.