Tuesday seemed to start fine. . . .
Then, halfway through speech, Max threw his therapist's iPad. Fortunately, iPads are sturdy: it didn't breakand we don't need to reimburse her for it - an expense we could ill-afford even without this week's car repairs.
Over lunch i wrote with Max to see if we could discover the problem. It seemed to be that he didn't have the words to express himself, to say what he really wanted to say.
Background: TV After MidnightBoom & i are a night people. Sometimes we watch TV way too late. Tuesday night was one of those nights. As if that weren't enough, when we plugged a new DVD in at 1:30am (just one more episode of Community before turning it off!), the DVD player wouldn't play it. So we tried it in Boom's BluRay/DVD player. It worked there, BUT the volume was LOUD. We were on it immediately: i grabbed the remote to turn it down, but Boom, right there, was even quicker.
Sound at a normal level. But what did that brief blast do to sleepers?
A half hour later, we went upstairs.
Background Part 2: Computer Timei came to the computer to work. It's right outside Max's room, and there was a thunderstorm. i need light to see the keyboard, but i knew the overhead would disturb Max, so i perched the booklight over the keyboard for the next hour or so before, way too late, heading to bed.
Have i mentioned that Max is a morning person, with unduly acute hearing?
Shards of Plate - Or Was it Bowl?This morning when i came down to breakfast, about 8:15, there were shards of broken plate to clean up. i called Max to sweep, and he came promptly. i helped - it looked like most of whatever it had been had already been swept. (Later i texted MyGuy & he replied that he'd found signs of cleaned up plate when he'd come down, around 6-6:30.)
Max & i did another little note.
The Big Picture: Where Max Is, Where We AreMax is our kid. He is 22 years old. He can, on a good day, expreess himself, though not necessarily very well. He is improving. (Many moms of kids with special needs hate Erma Bombeck's essay about us, but she did get it right when she said we would recognize miracles when we see them.)
In no way can he anyway near support himself. As i have said before & will no doubt say again (frequently!) he is several ages all at once.
Max is our responsibility. Families are responsible for each other.
Supporting MaxYes, we are reapplying for waiver services, when that Disney stock sells. Truly it's a small enough amount that it won't help Max much. We won't be able to take him to Disney World with the proceeds, or pay for 3 months' speech therapy.
We are NOT applying for waiver services because we do not want to support him. We can keep him fed and housed without it. We can let him veg on the couch all day the way things are. i could probably find some form of income around MyGuy's hours. It would have to be. Right now, it really helps having Boom home to assist with Max, but he's going to move out when his finances allow. And Max should not be alone all day. i'd prefer not for even an hour or two. Twenty minutes is too long if the toilet overflows - yes, actual experience.
Having government funding to help support Max allows us to do the speech therapy and tutoring which is helping him find his words.
Dealing with the Random AdviceSomeone suggested that, since he's over 21, he is no longer our responsibility, we should put him in a group home or something, somewhere where there's "guys bigger than him," and a routine, stuff going on all day, structure.
Well, that's really not a bad idea. A place with more structure, and diverse male company would be good for him. We hadn't thought to move him out for years to come, but truly he NEEDS a lot more of both than mom can provide.
i check into verious places, services.
And everywhere i ask, the first question is, Are you on the waiver?
Because like everywhere else, these places/people need to be paid.
And here we are, back in the same place in which i became a SAHM: the daycare needed more than i would earn for them to keep my kid.