The Original AdviceIn high school youth group, the leaders told us,
Choose a Date who will make a good Mate.
i seriously took that to heart. i have never regretted it either. Wedding day cold feet, ok. Less than pleased, sometimes; irritated, well, it's impossible to live with someone & not be, but glad HE is MyGuy, always.
More Recent Good Stuffi also heard, long after, that you should
Marry someone you can't live without, not someone you can live with.
Now what is the deal with that? This person should be both. If it's just the first, can't live without you, isn't that what's behind stalkings & restraint orders & spousal murders? When one can & the other can't? And the second sounds quite boring. (though there's something to be said for a little boring!)
Out of Context, but Right OnOnce, when waiting for Boom to get out of an evening school program, i heard this Christian teaching on the radio. No idea who the guy was, or how he got this from his text in Song of Solomon 1, but he said,
Run as hard as you can for Jesus,
then look over your shoulder
& see who's running at the same speed.
This is as much about priorities as beliefs and values. Do you agree all the way through on major issues? Sometimes there's even disagreement on what IS a major issue.
6/24/15: ah, i think i see it now. In Verse 7, the young woman asks where her beloved pastures his flock. She wants to be with HIS flock, and no one else's. She's looking to keep her reputation, as well as be with him. In Verse 8, the friends tell her to look where it seems likely to find him, where his sheep have been, and with others of the same interest. Maybe a bit of a stretch, but i think this works.
Attention or Submission?Just now, i found some other advice, possibly meant more generally, that is fantastic advice for a marriage:
Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.
Which leads me back to the illustrated quote at the beginning.