Ancient Clothes, Modern Issues: Tamar, a Saturday Sister

  A girl should be able to trust her family to protect her.
  Something went horribly wrong with this princess' family.
This household might seem a strange one in urban 21st century America.
There was Daddy and Mom.  Tamar didn't see Daddy much, because, well, he was a busy guy.  There was a kingdom to run - well, maybe all of it isn't so different.
  But it wasn't just Mom, Dad, and their kids.
  Mom wasn't Dad's only wife.  Tamar had a brother, Absalom, and a bunch of half brothers and sisters, too.
  No, maybe not so different at all.

A World of Men

   It was a different year, a different country, and of course a different king, but the self-satisfied oblivion was the same.
  All was not right with the children, and Daddy didn't know.
       If you are unfamiliar with Tamar's tragedy, you can find it in II Samuel 13.

"The hatred that he felt for her was greater than the love he’d had for her."

  Who let Tamar down?

 ...Don’t throw me to the side and forget me,    my God and only salvation.

 My father and mother have deserted me,    yet the Eternal will take me in.

          Psalm 27:9b, 10

  From her cousin to the rapist brother to Daddy, who was angry but absent, even Absalom, they all let her down.

  Yes, it seemed kind, for him to take her in.  But in telling her to be quiet, to not make a scandal, he was in effect telling her that he would shield her from the stoning legally required, resulting of acknowledging herself guilty.

  And perhaps he had his own agenda in the background, whether he recognized it or not.

  Things Change, Things Stay the Same

• The victim's fault mentality: Amnon "loved" her, he forced her, he hated her. The sight of her made him feel guilty, and he could not admit that he was guilty,so it must be her fault. 
• Tamar was obediently fulfilling her parent's request when the world turned upside down.
• Distance from family:  To Amnon, she is "My brother Absolom's sister." To Absalom, she is Amnon's sister, and calling attention to his deed (not crime) is too big a scandal..
• Favoring the attacker in particular: According to God's Law, this is a capital crime.  By makng a scene, Tamar legally could preserve not only her honor, but her life.  Daddy and brother Absalom are more concerned about the scandal if it comes out about Amnon.
• Concern about protecting the family as  a whole:  there was that Bathsheba incident not too many years ago - could this on top of that bring down the monarchy?
• Refusing to accept responsibility:  Later, when Conniving Cousin reported to his uncle, Tamar's Daddy, that Absalom had killed Amnon, he mentioned that this was specifically about Tamar's rape.  But he managed to forget that Amnon would not have been able to bring that about without his cousin's help.

 

 from Ps 146

Do not put hour hope in princes

 I will praise the Eternal for as long as I live.
    I will sing praises to my God as long as breath fills my lungs and blood flows through my veins.

³ Do not put your trust in the rulers of this world—kings and princes.
    Do not expect any rescue from mortal men.
⁴ As soon as their breath leaves them, they return to the earth;
    on that day, all of them perish—their dreams, their plans, and their memories.

⁵ Blessed are those whose help comes from the God of Jacob,
    whose hope is centered in the Eternal their God ---

 On Monday, i shared about The Arc's announcement of Sexual Assault Awareness Month &  National Crime Victim’s Rights Week.  In conjunction with that, today's  Saturday Sister.  


 http://www.alabaster-jars.com/biblewomen-t.html     Tamar is 3rd in this "T" entry.  i found this one useful.

http://unlockingfemininity.com/2011/01/07/tamar-just-a-raped-and-discarded-princess/      This is also interesting.
Assessment & Feminist Critique of the Narrative     and here

While i haven't relied on this book,& don't even always agree with it,  i have recently enjoyed reading Tivka Frymer-Kensky's Reading the Women of the Bible: A New Interpretation of their Stories.