Taking Guardianship of Max, Part 1

  When a kid turns 18, he is considered to be of age, and suddenly fully responsible for all consequences of his actions. 

  We see how well that works out when we read the news and see how some college kids handle their new-found freedom.  Even if he wants to marry someone totally unsuitable and move halfway across the country, when he's 18, that's his right.  If she wants to sleep until 4pm and remain unemployed, all we can say is, "Not under my roof."
  But what about our kids with special needs?  The ones who, because of neural or  mental impairments, will say "yes" because they don't understand, or because they simply think you want them to?

  

  Considering Guardianship

  This is a very serious step to consider.  As i pointed out above, any of us can mess up our life, in any number of ways.
  The right to do so is part of living in a free society.
  Nicole Goodson is an Indianapolis lawyer working with Disability Legal Services of Indiana, Inc.  She says, "The rights granted when we turn eighteen years of age are granted universally in this country, without regard to an individual person's capacity to make informed decisions."
  Kids with special needs like Max are, in effect, several ages all at once.   Max sure notices the pretty girls, and he does NOT want to be treated like a 5 year old, despite the fact that his conversation, if you can call it that, revolves around Thomas the Tank Engine.
  He will make transactions in a store or at a fast food counter now, though often he talks too softly to be heard. And he sometimes might try to walk away without the $18.56 of change from the $20.

At this age, Max HAD no "conversation."

  MyGuy and i knew that for Max to be allowed control of his life as a regular adult was more like giving a five year old total control.

  Max will say "yes" or "no" based on his unfathomable mood, or what he thinks you want to hear.  This is not something that a legal decision should be based on, yet if he had his legal rights, that WOULD happen.
 We knew we needed to be Max's guardians.

Taking Care of Max

  So when he was 17, MyGuy and i decided to take guardianship of him.
  In Indiana, this cannot be done before the 18th birthday.  The idea is you have to have your majority before it can be taken away.
  Whatever.
  i had heard the process is different if you do not START the process until AFTER the birthday.
  Lawyer Nicole stated that i was misinformed.   "The process is the same, regardless of when you start.  If you wait until after the birthday, however, you might run into medical providers or government agencies who won't speak with you, which will cause you stress and urgency in trying to get the matter resolved.  Starting before the 18th birthday allows you to get a court date ASAP to minimize the time where rights have vested."

Legal Stuff

 We had met Nicole and her colleagues of DLSI some time previously when the company was forming.  While we did not qualify for the company's free and low-cost services, Nicole took us on as a private, flat-fee client.  (i cannot mention the fee here, however, i can say that she is a public-spirited lawyer and her fee is an affordable fraction of what i have heard from other lawyers.  The fee she may quote you might vary if you are not in the Indianapolis area.)

  Aside from discussing financial matters, we discussed Max's status and our own relationship.  What's our history?  Are we the natural parents?  How do we get along, agree about how to care for Max?

     Who Can Be the Legal Guardian?

  Legal guardians need not be the natural parents, however, our stable, longterm relationship simplified the process for this guardianship.  In talking to Nicole again for this article, she informed me that in setting up  guardianships, the key is what works best for the individual.  A couple may wish to have only one be their child's guardian because of a father's work availability, for example.  Another possibility is that one parent is more concerned with the child's welfare.  On the other hand, a virtual committee might be appointed guardians, if there is a stable extended set of family and friends.  A sad but known situation is institutional staff becoming guardian.

     Should Max  Come to Court?

  A big issue is whether the individual should appear in court.

  i definitely did not want Max to come to court.  i knew it would be outside his routine, and therefore upsetting to him.  Acting out was a definite possibility.  i was going to be on edge even if Max was calm.  i'm seldom relaxed when we're in public together, though i've learned to ease up over the years.

  Nicole says, "A judge must be very careful in giving a parent control. Meeting the person involved is part of making sure it's warranted."

  Sometimes a doctor, especially in cases of autism, will grant exceptions to this.  A note might say something to the effect of, Because of this person's condition, guardianship is in his best interest and no, you really do not want him in court.

  At that point the judge may decide to make alternate arrangements to meet the person.

  Our doctor declined to write such a note.  He thought Max could handle it fine.

  Maybe so.  i knew i was not.

to be continued