Taking Guardianship of Max: Part 2

  When we were ready to take guardianship of Max. i was disappointed that we needed to bring our potentially volatile son with us.

Bad Attitude

  That was actually the wrong attitude for me to take.  It is a scary thing to have our rights of self-determination taken from us.  Having Max present is our government's way of protecting us, of protecting Max, from possibly unscrupulous parents taking advantage of him.
  Sometimes making the humongous, idiotic mistakes parents want to protect us from can be the making of us.  Sometimes parents do want to take guardianship to keep control of a kid's  - or an elder's - finances.
  Well, MyGuy and i knew we weren't such parents.   Lawyer Nicole felt satisfied, from her interviews of us, that we weren't.
  Nevertheless, that was the situation, and i needed to deal with it.
  MyGuy, lawyer Nicole, and i were going to need to be involved in the legalities of the court procedings.  Usually dealing with Max would fall to me, and i needed this to not happen.
  i don't remember who proposed this.  My solution was

Invite a Friend

   The hearing room was going to be small, so i couldn't invite a friend for Max and a friend for me.  i chose D___, Max's Sunday school teacher and a good friend to me as well.

  Someone he would be comfortable leaving the room with if that became necessary, and someone i would be comfortable with, for my own needs and to take care of him. 

  (Nicole advisess  "When people who care about the child involved don't agree about guardianship or future plans, the hearings can involve arguments and testimony."  And, "It's not always the parents who are fighting - sometimes it involves grandparents, siblings, etc.")
  i'd recommend bringing such a friend even if you think your family could never be that kind.  The support is great.  And you never know what stress might bring out in you. 

Snag on the Way

  The day before our hearing, Nicole called to say it was postponed.  

  Our assigned judge had passed away suddenly.

  Reading his obituaries showed me he was a serious loss to our city, but as the days passed i also learned

Another Reason For Guardianship:  Max's Own Comfort 

  In between the date of the first hearing and the one we eventually received, Max had an optometrist appointment.

  There was an entire sheaf of paperwork, medical history, i don't remember what all.

  Technically, since he was 18, of age, i wasn't supposed to have anything to do with this.  Staff wanted to be legal about it, and so did i, though we all knew Max and knew that this would be dicey.

  For one thing, he wouldn't have the slightest comprehension of anything he would be signing off on.  

  Max got through half a page before he had had enough.  There were about 18 more to go.

  i filled the rest of them out, and we both signed them.

You can do a lot when they're little that you can't when they're older.

  This would never do for an entire lifetime.

to be continued